La Boheme da la Cynic

Another Blog

2009-08-23T07:18:00.003-04:00

I reallllly suck at blogs. I honestly just forget to write. I'll go strong when I first start then I'll get busy and forget.

The new school year has started, so I'm busy at school now. I'd love to say, "I'm really going to try to update, but we'll see."

I just wanted to get on and put a link to a new blog I started. It's: http://keepinitrealwithbwood.blogspot.com/ This is my account with my experience on the Master Cleanse, a 10-day juice cleanse. I just started, so check it out!

Disclaimer: Because this is a detox diet, I will be talking about "eliminations" from my body. Not in too great of detail, but just wanted to throw that out there. :)

The Hangover equals...

2009-06-05T23:31:00.000-04:00

HILARITY.

Something I don't typically do...

2009-06-05T19:16:00.002-04:00

I usually don't go to movies, but I am going to go see The Hangover.

I'll will let you know what I think later!

I will be surprised if anyone even noticed my absence...or cares.

2009-06-05T17:44:00.004-04:00

I have survived my first year of teaching.

Never thought it would happen.

That being said, I have absolutely nothing to do this summer, thus why I'm tooling around on the internet. I thought to myself, "Hey, I used to have a blog...oh wait, I still do!" After catching up on the few people I actually used to read, a certain nostalgia hit me, and I have the itch to blog again. I highly doubt anyone read my blog, that anyone has been out there anxiously clicking on my page every day hoping I've updated. However, if there is anyone out there, I'm back.

And I will be re-decorating.

<3 & :-)

2008-10-04T11:46:00.001-04:00

Things are greatttt!!!!

crosses fingers

2008-08-24T19:01:00.002-04:00

New boy in the picture.

:-)

oh. em. gee.

2008-08-15T21:33:00.003-04:00

The dog in the apartment above mine has been barking NON-STOP for about 3 hours straight now.

I am going to scream.

Hola.

2008-08-14T21:10:00.003-04:00

So Carmen motivated me to remind everyone that I am in fact still alive.

So, yes, I am alive.

Today was the second day of school. It's actually going pretty well. I'm a little overwhelmed, but that is to be expected. I already heard a girl today say she didn't like me. Yes! That means I am doing my job. haha.

Well, I am really busy, but I'll be back soon!

yessss!!!!!

2008-07-01T11:34:00.002-04:00

I GOT A TEACHING JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!

great.

2008-06-04T22:21:00.001-04:00

My basement is semi-flooded, including my bedroom.

My desk has been relocated to the kitchen table for the time being, and I have to sleep in my room mate's room.

My BFF made plans and did not invite me.

Fuck it.

I'm getting a Steak'n'Shake milkshake and watching Flight of the Conchords all night.

omg.

2008-05-15T12:31:00.002-04:00

First teaching job interview in an hour.

I.am.terrified.

Example of Why I Should Stop Drinking #2

2008-05-10T11:32:00.003-04:00

Drunk texting with co-worker.
3:05 am

Ms. Cynic: Still up?
Co-worker: Always
MC: haha Allison is dragging me from the bar
CW: haha, what u do? :)
MC: Um shes taking me home?
CW: Thats no fun
MC: Um I cant drive
CW: Understandable, but if u could... :)
MC: Well i mean i legally shouldnt drive...
CW: *some kind of evil devil smiley face*
CW: I can drive just nowhere 2 go, just chilln after the keg
MC: ...?
CW: And that was me grinning evily 4 u driving "legally"
MC: being facetious (the best part is the word "facetious" is in my search bar for webster.com on my browser)
CW: 4 being drunk u use big wrds... :)
MC: I mean...sorry for having for having a large vocab...english teacher...
CW: Its coo u can use words with more than 2 sylables in a sentence and b cute
MC: I would hope so considering that means im not an idiot

Math was never my strong point.

2008-05-05T16:30:00.003-04:00

+ The grade that I was worried about actually does count, so I will actually be graduating---my degree will be processed on Wednesday...yesss!!
+ For graduation, my mom is taking me to the Dominican Republic in July.
+ Today I applied for my first passport. I feel so worldly and sophisticated.
- My friend thinks she's pregnant.
+ It's Cinco de Mayo, and I of course will be partaking in celebration.
- He told me all he can be is my friend.
- One of my room mates is moving out right now (not, because of anything bad...she graduated is going home....it's just still sad).
+ I am wearing the cutest shirt right now.
+ I am listening to my newly made "100% Non-Hispanic Music Cinco de Mayo" Mix.
- I have to start applying for teaching jobs this week....blahhhh.
- I still haven't heard from the one school I have applied to...I realllllly want the job.
+ NO MORE HOMEWORK!
+ I can do whatever I want now, because I don't have to feel guilty for doing it instead of schoolwork.
- I am still behind on my rent.
+ Did I mention Coronas and margs??

no, thanks

2008-05-05T14:45:00.003-04:00

Let the job search begin!

*groan*

bittersweet.

2008-05-03T07:28:00.002-04:00

I am graduating from college today.

HERstory

2008-05-02T16:43:00.006-04:00

You met him freshman year of high school. He had gone to one of the other middle schools in the township. He was the skinny, awkward kid who wore ugly red basketball shoes. None of your friends thought he was cute.

He made you laugh.

He walked you across the school from gym to band everyday. You finally realized you had a huge crush on him.

He "asked you out" in late February. You started "dating." You never actually went on dates. You were 14 with strict parents. You were together for a month before you had your first kiss (your first ever). It was at the NBA fieldhouse during the high school state championship game. It was kind of awkward.

Spring Break came, and he left one week early to go on a trip to China. You missed him terribly. Your "reunion" was awkward. No more kisses since the first one. You got bored and broke up with in early May.

Sophomore year of high school. He sees you at school and emails you asking if you'd ever think about getting back together. You say no. You go to a football game and are allegedly a huge bitch to him. He emails you back saying he wouldn't want to get back together anyway, because you've "changed."

May of Sophomore year you start dating someone else. You find yourself talking to him about your current relationship all the time, and for some reason, it's not weird to you. You break up with your boyfriend November of Junior year. Then you start hanging out with him again. You enjoy his company, but you kiss one day...and it's terrible. You are turned off and tell him it's not going to work again. He starts dating someone else.

March of Junior year you meet who think is a great guy at work. He goes to a different high school in the area. You typically only see him weekends and at work. His girlfriend goes to your high school. You get a bit jealous seeing the two of them together when you see your own boyfriend so sparingly. Or maybe that's not what you're really jealous about?

You take your boyfriend to prom. You see him and his girlfriend. They are dancing; they are cute together. You get jealous. Your relationship with your boyfriend is slowly falling apart while theirs seems to be blossoming.

Summer before Senior year of high school. You take summer school. So does he. You don't have the same class, but you talk during every break, and as the days progress, you start hanging out in the parking lot after school, then you hang out in the library, then you start getting lunch together. You find yourself looking forward to whenever you can hang out with him.

Meanwhile, you can tell his girlfriend is starting resent you, and you almost never see your boyfriend. You tell him that you're thinking about breaking up with your boyfriend, and he says that he doesn't treat you right and that you should. He says that his girlfriend is boring and they have nothing in common and doesn't want to be with her anymore.

Finally, one night you have to go to work just to talk to your boyfriend. You manage to get him to take a break to go out to your car and talk to you. He talks first. And breaks up with you. You're pissed that he has turned it around on you, but whatever. You're free. The first thing you do is call him and tell him. He says he's decided to break up with his girlfriend.

They break up. Now what do you do? You tell him that you feel bad, because to everyone else it's going to seem as though he broke up with her just because of you. He says don't worry, because we both know that's not the case. (Believe it or not, at this point the two of you haven't even discussed getting back together....you were just helping each other through break ups and hanging out)

You start hanging out more and more. Even to the point of going to his house late after work. One day, for some reason, you tell him your idea of the perfect kiss. That you're with someone you have a good time with, and you're just sitting there talking. Then you start laughing together, maybe the person starts tickling you or something. Then you stop laughing, and look at each other, and have the most breath-taking kiss of your life. You go home.

You hang out again one night, watching a movie. Your perfect kiss happens, down to the last detail. You start dating again.

You're inseparable. Everyone "knew this would happen." You don't care; you're blissfully happy. You experience everything with him: you say the three magic words, you both get into the same college, you go to prom, you graduate high school, you lose your virginities to each other. College rolls around, and everything seems like it will be perfect.

Until you feel like you've lost your identity. You're no longer You; you're His Girlfriend. You only hang out with his friends, because you never got around to making your own. You start to feel restless, like there's something else out there, like you need to experience college on your own; maybe experience other guys. You subconsciously start to distance yourself from him, and he notices.

You break his heart. You break your own.

Throughout sophomore year, you hang out occasionally, randomly hooking up. You have your share of hook ups with other guys as well, but you never actually date anyone else. You start wondering what all the hype is about. As awful as it is, you know you can always count on him to be around. You probably start taking advantage of that.

October of Junior year of college, you get drunk and go to a party where he is. You pull him aside and sit him on the basement steps and pour your heart out to him. You confess your love to him, that you'd never stopped loving him and want him back. He rejects you. You don't talk for a month.

You eventually see him out again, and you're both drunk. You go home with him. The next morning, he starts trying to kiss you, but you're sober and don't want to get hurt. You have an argument, and you leave. A couple weeks later, he instant messages you, seeing if he should talk to you. You tell how much he hurt you for rejecting you and then sleeping with you and then messing with your feelings by trying to kiss you. He says he's sorry for "rejecting" you, that he was drunk and it came so suddenly and he didn't have time to think. He says he kept trying to kiss you, because he needed to see if you still had a spark.

You eventually start talking again, slowly seeing more of each other. He plays the "boyfriend" and agrees to be your DD on your 21st birthday. He takes care of you when you get home and are puking all over the place and telling him not to "fucking touch you." He holds you in his arms and strokes your hair as you drunkenly cry yourself to sleep (for no reason, of course).

Then. He has a huge family issue. He is devastated. He calls you first. You go to him, help him through it. The two of you decide that you've pretty much already gotten back together. The school year ends, and his lease is up so he has to go home for the summer. You are staying the summer in your college town. It's a difficult long distance relationship; you find that you're too immature to handle it, even though you're only an hour away. You get a new job. Even though you're happy with him, you start meeting new guys at work and get curious.

You break up with him. Again.

Again, sporadicly littered with a few random hookups. None of them mean anything to you. In fact, sometimes you find yourself with another guy and thinking to yourself, "You're not him." Spring Break found you hooking up with one of your friend's friends. He was flirty with you for a month or so. Then you went up to Purdue, and he was a complete asshole. He called you that night out of the blue, and you were so happy.

You keep thinking about him. You keep thinking about the future and about how you want him in yours. You find out that he will be staying in your college town for grad school, and if you get the job you want, you will too. It just seems too perfect. But you don't think he'll give you another chance.

Last night, you met up at a bar. You both got drunk. He came home with you.

Then he freaked out about how he "told himself not to do this again," saying it was a "mistake," but you could still tell there's something there. You cried yourself to sleep.

What do you do?

2008-04-28T20:41:00.001-04:00

So I think I miss The Ex.

There.

I said it.

!!!!

2008-03-28T20:34:00.001-04:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I just wanna go back to bed...

2008-03-17T12:13:00.002-04:00

So as awesome as Spring Break was, it really messed me up in several regards.

a) My eating habits. I have always had a hearty appetite and a major tendency to overeat. Well, in January I started yoga, and I told myself my eating habits had to change. So I started drinking coffee every morning as an appetite suppressant and started eating several small meals in a day instead of three huge ones. This, coupled with the yoga, and I really started to see results. Wellllll, when I went on Spring Break, I knew I'd eat a little more since it was vacation; however, I I didn't anticipate the housemates cooking amazing gourmet meals every night. I literally ate more in one week than I had in MONTHS, and now that I am back home, I find myself reverting back to my old ways. In the morning: a HUGE cup of coffee.

b) My sleep schedule. So I'm definitely a "partier." I go out every weekend; however, my body was not prepared to binge drink six nights in a row and function on about four to five hours of sleep every night. Pair that with two nights of driving straight through, and my sleep schedule was fuuucked. The past two mornings it has been very hard to get out of bed. For example, last night I went to bed at 12:30, so I set my alarm for 8:30. What time did I actually get up? 11:35. Gahhhh!!!!! I have to get back into a routine.

c) My head. I keep thinking about this guy, which is stupid, because I know his history. My friend warned me before I even got involved. Blah, well, I will see him this weekend.

:O)

2008-03-15T21:16:00.003-04:00

So I'm not a big smoker or a big fan of country music, but I have just discovered my new favorite thing:

Driving with the window rolled down, smoking a cigarette, and belting country music.

Makes me happy.

Lovin' in Alabama

2008-03-15T17:06:00.004-04:00

So I just got back from Spring Break yesterday afternoon. Went to Gulf Shores, Alabama with 10 other people (only knew three of them beforehand). It was a blast, and we stayed in the most amazing cottage on the lake!

I also had my first "Spring Break fling." Yeah, yeah...haha. I suppose it wasn't a true fling, however, because he is one of my friends' friends. Also, because I left so much of my stuff in peoples' cars, I have to go to the Purdue next weekend.......which means I will more than likely see him again.

hmmmmmm......

Example of Why I Should Stop Drinking #1

2008-03-02T23:49:00.003-05:00

I woke up Saturday morning and discovered I had the following "status" on Facebook:

"Ms. Cynic feels like everuone is hooking up btu her...oh well, she can possily wait for what she wants. 3:34 am "

a) I think the last part is referring to The Ex. Apparently at the bar I stood in the bathroom for about 30 minutes talking to him on the phone. I also have outgoing texts to him saying I "miss him in my life" and "wished he was in town" that night.

b) None of my friends actually were hooking up with anyone; it was all in my sad little drunk mind.

Awkward Guy Night

2008-02-29T12:22:00.005-05:00

So last night was the first time I've really gone OUT out in about 2 weeks. Needless to say, my tolerance was a little low. I had a few VERY awkward encounters with males:

GUY #1: Former co-worker--we will call him Pete
A little note about Pete...he was kind of "that guy" at work...the guy who always invited himself to parties and was weird and awkward and nobody really wanted him around. His ex-girlfriend "Lauren" is now dating a guy that works at my job, "Allen."

Pete: Hey, Ms. C, how's it going?
Me: Uh, hey, Pete, good...how are you?
Pete: Oh you know, good good...I work SomePlace now...it's good.
Me: That is good.
Pete: Yeah, I mean, I never hang out w/ anyone from YourRestaurant anymore...you know, kinda sucks. I miss you guys. (I am thinking: Oh God, are we really going to do THIS?) And I mean, I know Lauren is dating Allen, but I mean, whatever. I just want her to be happy. (I am thinking: YOU ARE SUCH A BUZZKILL!!) But yeah, I am gonna go smoke a cigarette. I'll be right back.

*comes back*

Pete: Yeah, I really hope that Lauren and Allen don't come here...I'd be a little mad. Well, there's my friends; gotta go. But hey, Ms. C, I just wanted to tell you...I have always thought you are so beautiful, and I couldn't really say anything before coz I had a girlfriend, but you are so beautiful, and I just wanted to tell you that you should never set your standards low.

Guy(s) #2: Random Bar Guy(s)
So my friend bought us a shot, and this guy with long blonde hair and a fedora comes up to us and says, "Hey, you should come sit with my friend and me....we are bored." So we do.

Fedora: This is my friend. Do you want another shot?
Friend: (pulls out a deck of cards and proceeds to do card tricks)
Me: I guess that is cool, but I am drunk, not 5.
Card: Ouch, sorry.
Me: What is your last name?
Card: You'll have to come back here tomorrow night and find me.
(Fedora comes back, I take the shot, and we leave.)

Guy #3: A Blast from the Past...we'll call him "Jared"
So this is a guy I don't know too well. I had a party last year, and he came with some people I know. HE WAS SO ANNOYING. He is one of those guys who will talk your ear off (kind of like Pete)...to him this is considered flirting....to you, you just want to hang yourself; however, with him, if you don't flirt back then he just considers you a bitch and gets mad. I hadn't seen him in a LONG time.

Jared: Hey, haven't seen you in awhile.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Jared: How have you been?
Me: Good. You?
Jared: Good...man, last time I saw you, you were so mean to me.
Me: No, I wasn't.
(The conversation continues with him telling me how mean I am and me trying to fight the urge to tell him exactly what I think of him.)

So I wake up this morning, and I have a Facebook message from him with the following:

i had to give u a hard time tonite cuz u alway give me one! well anyways under one condition i want u give me your number and thats if u think im cute!

I barely understand what he was trying to say.

Oh man, my life is just full of awkwardness.....and I love it.

moment you'd swear I was blonde #1

2008-02-27T13:52:00.003-05:00

So I was driving around last night with the BFF (best friend forever, for those of you who aren't hip) last night, and she started singing, "One is the loneliest number..." This made me think of a movie, so I asked, "Have you seen Mongolia?"

"No, what is it about?"

"Well, let me see if I can remember...it starts off talking about all these interesting/freaky stories about things that were supposed to be coincidence...I mean, I really don't remember. Then, I think it starts playing the song you were singing with a montage, which includes Tom Cruise as a motivational speaker urging his audience to RESPECT THE PENIS...or something like tha-----"

"Wait, are you talking about MAGNOLIA???"

"Oh."

PARTY MONSTER....VIEW THIS FILM!!

2008-02-20T10:33:00.008-05:00

Okay, for those of you who have never seen/heard of Party Monster, it takes place in NYC during the late 80s/early 90s. The movie is based on the book Disco Bloodbath by James St. James (Seth Green's character), which is a true story about Michael Alig's (Mac Culkin's character) rise to fame in the clubscene.

From Wikipedia:

"Party Monster (2003) is a drama/dark comedy that details the rise and fall of infamous homosexual^[1]^[2]New York party promoter Michael Alig. The movie stars former child star Macaulay Culkin as the drug addled "King of the Club Kids". Also in the film are Seth Green as the flamboyant and slightly smarter James St. James, Dylan McDermott as Alig's boss/father figure Peter Gatien, Chloë Sevigny as Alig's girlfriend/fag hag Gitsie, Wilmer Valderrama as his onetime boyfriend DJ Keoki, Wilson Cruz as drug dealer/Club Kid wannabe Angel Melendez, and Marilyn Manson as Christina, a transsexual member of Alig's entourage. A number of real life club kids appeared as extras, including fashion designer Richie Rich and David LaChapelle's transsexual muse Amanda Lepore.

The film is based on St. James' novel Disco Bloodbath, and details his friendship with Alig, which fell apart as Alig's drug addiction worsened, and ended after he murdered Melendez and went to prison. "

And no, I did not just give anything away; you find out about the murder in the first scene.

Anyyyyyway, this movie is scary at times, heartbreaking at times, mind blowing at times, and hilarious at times. I will admit that I find Mac's performance to be a little annoying at times (although I know this is how the real Michael Alig acted); however, SETH GREEN STEALS THE SHOW!! He is absolutely brilliant!!

Alright, you have your assignment; NOW GO!

PS: I also highly recommend researching the phenomena of the Club Kids, as it is highly fascinating (at least to me anyway).
************************************************
"I am not addicted to drugs; I'm addicted to glamour." -- James St. James

No more.

2008-02-19T17:56:00.003-05:00

If I get one more bitchy/catty message left on the fridge by one of my roommates, I am going to snap.

I already feel like the "odd girl out" anyway, and I am sick of getting messages that single me out for ridiculous things.

If you want your check for the utilities the day BEFORE the date you said you needed it, then fucking tell me THAT date; otherwise, give me some credit and know that you will get it on the date you said you needed it.

FUCK!

Sorry, I am already having a bad day as it is, and that just put me over the edge.

I am really disturbed about this...

2008-01-22T19:26:00.001-05:00

R.I.P. Heath Ledger 04.04.79--01.22.08

I'm kinda shook up about this, because I feel like Heath is the first celebrity of my generation to die an untimely death.  I just keep thinking about how Michele Williams is dealing, and what's going to happen when their two-year old daughter Matilda (whose name I adore) wonders where her daddy is.

Heartbreaking.

WTFFFFFF?????!!!

2008-01-20T18:37:00.002-05:00

So Friday night two of my room mates had a small bunch of people over (maybe 5 at most...and only one of which was a girl) to drink, play beer pong, and hang out. I did not partake; I went out to the bars. When I got home, they were still here, so we went to bed, whatever, right?

The next day I wake up, go to my bathroom, and discover my hair straightener is gone....my $125 CHI.

What the FUCK????!!!

Who steals something like that.....seriously????

I am so upset / PISSED OFF.

I mean seriously....WTF???

Revelation

2008-01-16T23:23:00.001-05:00

I have officially decided that I hate the term "shitshow." ie: "This weekend we are going to drink so much it will be a complete shitshow!"

Maybe I just have a vulgar mind, but whenever I hear that phrase I envision a party or bar of people taking shots and flinging poo at each other. Is it just me?

I really don't know why....but I really just hate that word.

Indications That You are One Lazy MOFO #1

2008-01-12T17:34:00.001-05:00

You drink wine from a coffee cup, because you don't want to walk all the way to the kitchen to get a wine glass.

Britney Sightings.....where is she now?

2008-01-11T19:42:00.001-05:00

According to Perez, Britney is all over the place, and no one really knows quite where she is.

First she was in Manhatten. No wait, then she was in Mexico. No, she was in Baja, CA. Now, apparently, she's back home in LA.

She's a real-life Where's Waldo (complete with pink wig).

My advice? Stop jet-setting for publicity, and focus on your upcoming court date about your CHILDREN!!!! Apparently, K-Fed wants her to be court ordered to not see the kids til April. But what's four months when you're busy frequenting the Starbucks of the country with an unattractive, womanizing Papparazzo?

Check out my Bible: www.perezhilton.com!

PS: Do you think Britney's current song on her iPod is "Addiction" by Kanye? Perhaps.

A Much Needed Letter

2008-01-07T21:49:00.001-05:00

Dear Britney Spears,

As you may or may not know, I hated you growing up. I felt that you were a horrible role model. In fact, I even dressed up as you for Halloween in 7th grade complete with slutty spandex pants and what I considered at the time to be "trashy" hair and makeup. Basically, you made me feel bad about myself, because I thought I was fat. In my opinion, you had the perfect body. In retrospect, I was jealous.

Nowadays?

I no longer envy you! Holy fuck, Britney Spears, what the hell happened to you? It's one thing to hop on the Hollywood bandwagon of drugs, partying, and general debauchery, but you have children for Chrissake! How are you going to feel when they are old enough to see pictures of how psychotic you are and understand them? I'm sure they are going to be oh-so-proud of their Mommy. Because of you, the Federline boys will be forever taunted on the playground.

So congratulations, Ms. Trainwreck of the Year! You are now only a role model for wannabe drug addicts, psychos, and bad mothers!

Cheers,
Ms. C

PS: I found this on Perez : www.whenisbritneygoingtodie.com

My UnRealistic Christmas List

2007-12-24T09:58:00.001-05:00

Dear Santa,

Please bring me the following things:

the end of global warming
my school loans paid off
my credit card bill paid off
free grad school
the end of the war
the return of the vision of the 60s....peace and love
the end of my unending lack of security
more schools and aid for those in Africa
the world's (even just the country's) literacy rate to rise
a major revision to No Child Left Behind

Oh, and a Red Rider BB Gun.

That is all.

Thank you, Santa.

Love,
Ms. C

This can't be happening.

2007-12-23T23:45:00.001-05:00

lMaybe I miss him....?

This is how you know you're old....

2007-11-27T00:58:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: Okay, before anyone starts jumpin' on me....I'm only 21, and I do realize that that is in no way really considered "old."

I meant to post this awhile ago when I was still student teaching, but stuff happens.

Going back to high school (granted to teach and not to learn) has made me realize one very depressing thing: I'm getting old!! I used to think I was all hip to the current lingo and trends; I was wrong. While I am aware of some "cool" things (which undoubtedly shocks my students), there are so many new words, phrases, gestures, etc. with which I am unfamiliar.

For example, while at a volleyball game, two of my male 11th graders appeared and chastised me for grading papers at a volleyball game (see? I'm old!). One of them then proceeded to teach me a handshake inspired by the song "Pop Lock and Drop It." It is done as follows:

"Pop"

"Lock"

"and Drop It."

Y'learn something new everyday. That kid makes me do this "handshake" with him almost every time he sees me. Silly. Hey, I may be old, but at least I get a "Ms. Cynic is cool!" every now and then. And that's all that really matters, right?

Strange

2007-11-25T23:22:00.001-05:00

I really need to stop having dreams about hooking up with random, various people that I know.

VMA's; minute by minute commentary

2007-09-09T21:59:00.001-04:00

Britney Spears' performance
So her first performance since.....she went crazy, I guess. It was...decent, I'll say. First of all, the costume? Yuck. She was wearing...basically a sparkly bra and underwear with knee-high boots. She could have kept the top if she had put some pants on. Her butt was jiggling the whole time. So Britney isn't as energetic as she once was. Although I was never a huge fan of hers, I always gave her props for putting on a good show. Where was the enthusiasm, Brit? She literally walked from dance block to dance block. It was almost lazy. She did have a couple of cool moves, but they in no way made up for the fact that she was so obviously lip synching it was painful to watch. At some points she didn't even move her lips...like there wasn't even an attempt at looking legit. All in all, I'd give her a C for effort....I mean, the chick's been through a lot. Keep practicing, Brit.

Sarah Silverman's opening monologue
Crazy as usual. I usually laugh at her coz she makes me uncomfortable;although, she just told one joke that made me crack up: "So I was backstage, and I saw C-Lo. I asked him if he had encountered any racism. And he gave me this really weird response. He said, 'I'm Kanye West'." Other than that funny joke, same 'ol Sarah Silverman.

Alicia Keys presenting
Ummmmm....where has she been? She is way too shiny.

Nicole S and Eve presenting
Where has Eve been too? Nicole looked stunning as usual.

Kanye West performance
I just love him. I don't care what anyone says.

Rihanna award
Her dress is gorgeous. It's a hot pink number, and I want it.

Maroon 5 performing
Adam Levine is just so yummy. I'm disappointed that this was just a "filler" performance, and we only got to see like one minute of it.

Justin Timberlake award
I honestly can't tell you what award he just won. I'm too busy staring and drooling.

50 Cent/Kanye
The little face-off they just did was hilarious. For those of you who don't know: both Kanye and 50's albums are dropping on Tuesday (9/11). 50 has announced that if Kanye outsells him, 50 will retire. They're not even talking to each other.

Beyonce award
She won 'Best Collaboration' with Shakira. She looks beautiful as always, but I don't quite know how I feel about her toga-inspired dress. Her boobs are about to pop out.

Chris Brown performance
One word: DAMN! This dude can DANCE! I am in awe of him. Rihanna looks beautiful too.

Justin Timberlake award
Again, I just wanna crawl through the TV screen. His comments about Chris Brown being young are funny.

Ludacris not going on stage
So Fergie just won an award, and she couldn't make it. The presenter (I don't even know who this kid is) just jokingly invited Ludacris onstage, and Luda declined! C'mon, Luda....I don't see you winning any awards.

Pamela Anderson
Same as always.....at least her dress was some-what modest.

Kanye performance (new song)
Never heard this song before...don't really like it, but Kanye is still always fun to watch.

Rihanna performance
I love her little punkish, Madonna circa 1985 inspired mini-dress.

Nelly presenting
Ummm....holding a beer and can barely get his words out. Classy.

Alica Keys performance
I don't like her headband thingy. I miss the Alicia who used to pound the shit out of a piano. I don't really like the little gospel group in the background. Wow, this just turned into a church gathering.

Jamie Fox and Jennifer Garner presenting
Did anyone else just see the tech guy like push Jennifer down the steps? Anyway, Jamie Fox is crazy, and Jennifer looks gorgeous as usual. hahaha...Jamie is cracking me up.

Best New Artist: Gym Class Heroes
Probably the only award these guys will even win.

50 Cent performance
If you're trying to promote your new album, why would you perform "In Da Club"? Promote your new shit!

Mary J. Blige
Mary, I don't like your blonde bob. Sorry.

Dr. Dre
Wait, he's presenting an award? So they had a presenter present a presenter? Weird. Dang I thought he was performing.

Rihanna--Video of the Year
Wow, this is Rihanna's year. Really love her hair!

Young Joc and Diddy
Diddy: "It's not over til I saw it's over." Man, this dude is just full of himself in general.
Young Joc: "Don't go nowhere!" Mannnnnn, bad grammar is sooooo cool!!!

Nelly Furtado/Timbaland/JT
Nelly Furtado: gorgeous

Laser lights are hurting my eyes.

Timbaland: Wow, I never realized how buff he is. :)

JT: O.....M....G. Britney Spears, wtf the fuck were you thinking let him go???!!??

"Give It to Me": I was hoping they'd all perform this song! Well.....that ending was abrupt.

And so is mine.

Jumping on the bandwagon.....

2007-09-04T20:53:00.001-04:00

So I've seen this little diddy on at least two other blogs....figured I'd join in as well.

THE RULES: Elaborate on the words below kids!

Accent – British and Australian accents make me melt....especially when I'm drunk. Yeah, especially when I'm drunk.

I Don't Drink – whiskey. Whiskey makes me act like a burly man who wants to fight everyone. I am, in reality, the opposite of this facade. Once this past summer at a bar I was trying to impress this guy I know. I asked him what shot he wanted, and I thought he said, "Anything with whiskey." I almost gagged at the thought of it, but I'm a "guy's girl" right? I can handle it, right? So the bartender sets the shots in front of us, and the guy says, "What's this?" After the bartender replies that's it's Jim Beam, the guy looks at me angrily and says, "I said anything but whiskey!" Oops.

Chore I Hate – pairing up socks. I never come up with an even number. I find socks I didn't even know I had.

Pets – I have a 6 year old Shepard/Boxer mix, but she lives with my parents. I miss her!!

Essential Electronic – My laptop. I don't know what I would if I couldn't check Facebook every five minutes. I'm serious. It's sick but true.

Perfume/Cologne – I've been wearing Clinique "Happy" since middle school (I'm 21), and I'm okay with that. You find something you like; you stick with it.

Gold or silver – I'll say silver colored....it can be silver or white gold; I just don't like gold colored things.

Insomnia – when the TV's not on

Job Title – student....this semester I'm a student teacher....also, server aka my tables' bitch

Most Admired Trait – sense of humor....anyone who can make me laugh is a-okay in my book!

Kids – I obviously like them if I teach them; however, teaching is the BEST form of birth control!

Religion – is not something that is important to me....at all.

Siblings – 1 full brother, 2 stepsisters, and 1 half brother

Time I wake up – as of now, 5:30-6, and it suuuuuucks!

Unusual talent/skill – I can make a 3 leaf clover w/ my tongue. :O)

Vegetable I refuse to eat – olives or mushrooms

Worst habit – biting the skin around my fingers....it's a compulsive habit

X-rays – ummm.....well, I busted my chin open when I was three or four, but I have no idea if that required an x-ray. If it didn't, then my first one was when I was about 15 or 16. I had chest x-rays because I was having trouble breathing. Turns out, I was just having anxiety attacks--yay!

My favorite meal – either wings and beer or spaghetti and meatballs

Eeeeeevery time......

2007-08-21T22:27:00.002-04:00

New haircut.

Hate it.

Ouch.

2007-07-29T00:38:00.002-04:00

So last Thursday I was ironing my shirt for work.

Hold on. Back up.

I must explain....

I have a table-top ironing board that I have placed on my mini-fridge.

Also, a couple days before, I accidentally dripped bleach on my black work pants.

Okay, where was I?

So I was ironing my shirt for work. I finished this and then decided to try to color in the bleach sports with a black Sharpie. I stupidly decided to do this ON the ironing board. Before I knew it, the pressure I was putting on the ironing board by leaning on it caused the board to slip off my fridge and my iron to fall on my arm!!!

Yes, I'm quite sure they're 2nd degree burns.

Probably should have gone to the doctor, but I didn't. I've been doctoring it myself, and it seems to be healing just fine. My problem is that because I've been wearing a bandage in the same spot so often, I've started to have a reaction to the bandage and have now broken out around the burn.

Gerrrrr.

Hello, strangers!

2007-07-17T20:18:00.000-04:00

So I've been MIA for quite sometime now.

I doubt anyone has even noticed, but if anyone out there even reads this, I'm back!

I've been workin' my backend off (I'm broke as a joke), and this past weekend I went home for the boyfriend's 21st birthday and my best friend's wedding.

PLUS, I moved into my new place. It's nice here; definitely a "college" house (old, older appliances, kinda "dirty" etc.). I'm in the basement though, and it's freezing. I need to get a space heater, because I'm kind of miserable.

ANYWAY.....I'm back to finishing up the first season of Melrose Place.

************************************************************************************

"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades." -- Demetri Martin

Fergalicious Def....

2007-06-23T15:12:00.001-04:00

With the help of "The Dutchess," I now know how to spell the following words:

glamorous
delicious
tastEy (other less reliable sources tell me that there is no "E" but they obviously don't know what they're talking about)

Thank you, Fergie.

********************************************************************

"And I'm like 'get up out my face' 'fore I turn around and spray yo' ass with mace." - The Ferg...brilliance

I mean, seriously?

2007-06-23T13:52:00.001-04:00

I remember in Junior Honors English in high school, we were reading The Grapes of Wrath. My teacher asked how a box of Cracker Jacks relates to the story. I gave this fantastic metaphor about with Cracker Jacks, you have four options:

1) You eat and eat and eat until finally your hard work is paid off with the special prize.
2) You don't like Cracker Jacks, but you eat them anyway to get the special prize.
3) You cheat and throw the Cracker Jacks away just to get to the special prize.
4) You don't like Cracker Jacks, and who cares about the special prize?

Suck was with the story. The Joad family could have worded hard for a better life despite obstacles, or they could have given up.

Isn't that fabulous?

"No, that's not right."

Whhhhhhat?

That was freaking brilliant!

You want to know what she said?

"Cracker Jacks are sweet, and so if life."

What the hell?

A third grader could have come up with that! Anything could apply to it:

"M&Ms are sweet, and so is life."

"Honeysuckles are sweet, and so is life."

"Surfing is sweet, dude! And so is life."

I mean, seriously, what the hell?

What the hell, Mrs. Gooch?

What the hell?

****************************************************************
"The secret of teaching is to appear to have known all your life what you learned this afternoon."
---John Skow

A Brief Lesson in Grammar

2007-06-18T11:09:00.001-04:00

I know for some people, grammar may not seem important in their day to day lives; however, because I am a future English teacher, and because it just drives me nuts, I have decided to put together a mini-lesson with the basic necessities.

1) noun - person, place, thing, or idea (example: Grandma, Vermont, doll, love)
adjective - descriptive word that modifies a noun (ex: red shoes, tiny hand, crazy lady)
adverb - describes verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs; tells how or where (ex: quickly
ran, clumsily undressed)
conjunction - connects words phrases, and clauses (ex: he and I, neither here nor there,
handsome yet slimy)
pronoun - stands in for a noun (ex: he, she, it, they, me)
verb - shows action (ex: jump, think, love, hop)
interjection - interrupts (ex: hey!, hark!)
preposition - connects nouns by showing some kind of relationship (ex: over the hedge,
up a creek)

(^^LEARN THESE; KNOW THESE!!!^^)

2) No double negatives! Read the following sentence: "I don't have no money!" Does this look correct to you? If not, then bravo. If so, why??? Do you even realize what this sentence actually means? You are really saying, "I don't have a nonexistent amount of money," which is another way to say that you have money, because you are saying that you don't have NO money. Get it?

3) To quote Ross from Friends, "Y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e means 'you are'. Y-o-u-r means 'your'!" These two words are not interchangeable--they mean very different things! An English teacher of mine once told us a little trick: the presence of an apostrophe means that it is replacing something else; therefore, it should be easier to tell that "you're" means "you are" because the apostrophe clues us in that it is replacing the "a" in "you are". This area of grammar also applies to "its/it's," "their/they're/there," etc.

4) "I" is a proper noun. It should be capitalized!

5) She and I went shopping...NOT...she and me went shopping!!! Here's a trick: Take out "she". Would you say, "Me went shopping?" Nope.

6) Subjects and verbs must agree! Read: "A book of matches were found under the corpse." Right? Wrong. There is only one book of matches; therefore, the sentence should read, "A book of matches was found under the corpse."

7) Please use punctuation. Run-ons are no fun and hard to read.

I probably sound quite pompous. I am. haha.......Anyway, just think before you type, and I'll be happy.

- Ms. Cynic

PS: I'm sure I'll make a mistake soon, and people will pounce me me. Can't wait. :D

who knows?

2007-06-17T10:57:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I wonder....are the people around me really that inconsiderate, or do I just expect too much from people...?

I honestly think it's the former.

Yummmmmmm!

2007-06-10T22:06:00.002-04:00

I should sell my baked spaghetti.

It's to die for.

Hi, friends.

2007-06-09T13:45:00.001-04:00

Apologies for the brief hiatus.

Back soon!

To be or not to be?

2007-06-04T01:14:00.001-04:00

To be or not to be? At U.S. colleges, it's increasingly 'not'

May 21, 2007

BY ANNE D. NEAL

The world loves Shakespeare. But American universities don't.

That is the conclusion of a new study released by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni. The report, "The Vanishing Shakespeare," surveyed English curricula at 70 major American colleges and universities. Only 15 require their English majors to take a course on Shakespeare. The rest allow the English teachers of tomorrow to graduate without studying the language's greatest writer in depth.

Only one institution requires Shakespeare in the Ivy League -- Harvard. And a mere three others of U.S. News' top 25 liberal arts colleges -- Middlebury, Smith and Wellesley -- require the study of the Bard.

At most of America's top colleges, Shakespeare is simply an elective -- one among many. That puts him on a par with literature courses on "Nags, Bitches and Shrews" at Dartmouth; Los Angeles, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Baywatch at Northwestern; baseball at Emory, and "Cool Theory," at Duke, where students devote themselves to the study of a single word of American slang.

It used to be that our colleges and universities could be counted on to introduce students to the central works, events and figures who have shaped our world as part of a shared conversation. But not anymore.

Students can now graduate from most of the top-ranked colleges in America without having much meaningful exposure to anything. Indeed, in today's academy, there has been a breakdown in the belief that a shared core of learning is important, or that some subjects are more worthy than others. As former Harvard Dean Harry Lewis explains in Excellence without a Soul: "Universities are having a hard time making the case that the education they offer is about anything in particular. 'Breadth' and 'choice' have become goals in themselves."

Mind you, most colleges claim otherwise. Haverford College's English department, for example, claims to "maintain a working balance between an enduring commitment to the traditional canon of English and American literature and an expanding horizon of fresh concerns." And yet, there the Bard is not even an option. In 2006-2007, Haverford College's English department did not offer a single Shakespeare course.

And it's not just Shakespeare who's in trouble. When ACTA surveyed the general education requirements of 50 colleges in 2004, 88 percent did not require a broad literature survey and 86 percent did not require a basic American history or civics course. That's why institutions like UCLA -- which requires its English majors to take Shakespeare, Chaucer and Milton -- are rare, but Hamilton College, which recently scuttled plans for a new scholarly center to study its namesake, Alexander Hamilton, is nothing unusual.

The idea that the Bard and the Founders are unworthy of special attention, of course, does not have much currency in the outside world. That's surely the case in the Windy City, where the Web site for the Chicago Shakespeare Theater highlights "acclaimed productions of William Shakespeare's canon." Why is it, then, that our colleges have such different values?

A college curriculum should not be a do-it-yourself kit. But that is, in fact, what it has become. Instead of directing the next generation of Americans to the most important authors and ideas that ensure an educated person, our universities have abdicated their professional responsibility in favor of "anything goes."

In our global world, it is surely more important than ever for college graduates to understand the civilization that produced them. But if our colleges don't insist that even their English majors study Shakespeare, who will pass on that knowledge to future generations?

Trustees, alumni, parents and students should not sit idly by while the attack on academic values goes unchallenged. It is imperative that all of us demand change and essential that our colleges and universities refocus their efforts on academic quality and academic value. Restoring Shakespeare to his proper place would be a good place to start.

How To Not Completely Suck at Starbucks

2007-05-22T15:23:00.000-04:00

So I've been a barista for almost five years now, and I have to say, sometimes people just suck. Here's a handy dandy list I've compiled to help even the most schmoe of Joes fit in.

1) Do not say, "I want a Starbucks." I highly doubt you mean to buy an entire Starbucks franchise. This just makes you sound unintelligent, and I silently mock you.

2) If you say decaf, 9.9/10 times it will be decaf. Stop asking me 508 times between the time you order and the time I hand you your drink. I understand some people absolutely cannot drink caffeine, but give me a little credit.

3) Some people need non-fat milk.

4) Pregnant women: please don't be offended if I ask you if you want decaf. I'm just trying to help.

5) I'm the one that works here, so please don't tell me how to make your drink. Believe it or not, I went through this little thing called "training".

6) DO NOT patronize me by saying, "Oh, you did such a good job!" I already know I did, jerk.

7) I am not a babysitter; therefore, do not yell at me if your brats get hurt or wander away.

8) Hey, Braniac: the type of milk is part of your order. Try telling me what kind you want before I start pouring the default--which is whole.

9) I know I may look it, but I am not, in fact, a freaking mind reader.

10) Just because you came in once in 1946 does not mean I'm necessarily going to remember you or your drink.

11) Unless I initiate it (which I usually will), let's skip the small talk, shall we?

12) God forbid your cheap ass should bring a date here; however, if so, save the teen-aged groping at least until you get to the car.

13) "No, we do not sell newspapers" does not mean you should list off every newspaper ever printed. No newspapers = no newspapers!!!

14) Do not waltz over and sneer, "Are these all the pastries you have?" Actually, your highness, we do have a secret room of royal pastries for your rude ass.

15) "Is there any way you can block out the sun?" Hold on, let me pull out this giant window shade I keep in my pocket. Find a cave, you vampire.

16) "Pretty girl like you got a boyfriend?" You are old and creepy and should be castrated.

17) If you ask for you Caramel Macchiato stirred, why don't you just get a vanilla latte with caramel on top? It's basically the same thing.

18) It's fine if you have no idea what you want to order (although it's apparent you're just trying to hop on the edgy, hip Starbucks bandwagon), but at least come prepared with questions.

19) I've got a line of people seven people deep. Do you really think I have time to answer crap like, "Think it'll rain today?"

20) To Mr. Fatty McFattersen: maybe you should skip the whipped cream today?

21) You are NOT allowed to come behind the counter for any reason, even to wash your hands. Are you mental?

22) Do not reach over the counter to get your own straws or lids. Would you like it if I reached into your purse to get your money myself?

23) Yeah, yeah, your kids are sooooo adorable, blah, blah, blah. Keep them quiet, and clean up after them.

24) "Caffe Mocha" and "mocha" are the same thing. When you order the former and I call out the latter (because I'm not a tool), don't say that's not what you ordered.

25) Don't get mad at me when you find out your venti Strawberries and Creme Frappuccino with extra whipped cream has over 500 calories. I neither manufacture the ingredients nor force/suggest you order it, lardass.

26) Don't ask me a question and then tell me I'm wrong, claiming you are a "coffee connoisseur". If this is the case, go home and make your own damn coffee. Or better yet, open up your own coffee shop, prick.

27) I don't pick the music, so don't humor me by telling me I have good taste.

28) Just because I am a female and my co-worker is a male, does not mean we are dating!!

29) If you are on your cell phone, you are not allowed to correct me or complain that I did something wrong...in fact, it is preferred that you not be in line at all.

30) I don't care how attractive you are, I'm not giving you a free drink.

31) "Have a free sample" does not mean take as many as you need to not have to buy a drink.

32) Don't bring coffee from aisle 4 (the coffee aisle at Target) and have me grind it. There's a do-it-yourfreakingself grinder right there.

33) Dear Mr. Comedian--I hate you.

34) No, Bobbie Sue, we don't have "Cool Whip". If that's what you want, you should probably go to your grandma's house.

35) "I really need my coffee" is not an excuse for your rudeness or stupidity.

36) If you're ordering the same thing as the person before you, tell me! I can make them at the same time, and it will be faster, duh!

37) Don't ask me what the samples are when there's a sign right next to them.

38) Demanding that I turn off "that weird Mexican sounding music" makes you sound like one of the stupidest and most culturally ignorant people I have ever seen.

So there you have it. Follow all these rules (and I'm sure I'll think of more later), and I promise we baristas won't make fun of you after you leave with your precious little latte.

Maybe.

*************************************

"Body odor can result in the loss of otherwise happy customers." -- Amtrack training manual, 1999

No server dreams tonight, please!

2007-05-16T00:32:00.001-04:00

I've been a server for about a year now...at three different restaurants. I hate saying that to people, because I sound like a job hopper. I'm not.

Restaurant A (hereafter known as RA)

May '06-August '06
First serving job. Really liked the people at first, but got tired of the management, sexual harassment, and just...the people.
Left because it was just a summer job back home...had to go back to school.

Restaurant B (hereafter known as RB)

September '06-May '07
Got a job there because my roommate already worked there and recommended me. Great co-workers, fabulous management. We were never busy, and I made no money; however, I absolutely loved working there.
Left because the restaurant closed.

Restaurant C (hereafter known as RC)

Current job
Was thankfully able to transfer here, because it is also part of the same company as RB. I'm not finished training yet, but so far the people are nice. I'm ready to make some money!
Hopefully not leaving for awhile.

I'm sure I'll be discussing my life as a server a lot in this blog, because it's a big part of my life. So much, in fact, that I tend to have (as I'm sure many servers do) "server dreams".

A server dream is a very stressful, very realistic dream that involves myself--what else?--serving. My whole dream consists of managing tables, and I usually get very stressed out while I sleep. Sometimes my dreams get so overwhelming that they wake me up. I really hate them, because it makes me think that I work too much. I do. But that's not the point.

I had my first server dream in a good while last night. It involved a table with a very, very, very rude woman. I did everything I could to please her, but nothing seemed to go right. I ended up neglecting my other tables in the act. During one part of the dream, I remember walking by her and seeing her give her husband two dollars. He said, "Shouldn't we leave her more?" She said, "Are you kidding? She's a terrible server. She hasn't done anything right. Why should I feel guilty about not leaving her more?" But I wasn't a terrible server.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep last night. I think I was just anxious about my second day of training tomorrow. I'm sure there will be more server dreams to be had in the next couple of weeks as I continue to grab the reins of RC.

Just not tonight, please.

*********************************

"Honey, this ice is just too cold." -- This was actually said to one of the bartenders at RB once.

Come one; come all!

2007-05-15T19:57:00.000-04:00

It seems as though every time I'm feeling a little bored or frisky, I start a brand new blog. I've done the livejournal thang, had a journal on Bolt, written occasional blogs on MySpace, and even written a note or two on Facebook. The thing is though...

I never stick with them.

I plan to this time. I feel as though now that I'm almost out of college, I've got more to say.

And I'm gonna say them.

*************

"You can take the girl out of Manhatten, but you can't take me out of my shoes." -- Miranda on "Sex and the City"