First teaching job interview in an hour.
I.am.terrified.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Example of Why I Should Stop Drinking #2
Drunk texting with co-worker.
3:05 am
Ms. Cynic: Still up?
Co-worker: Always
MC: haha Allison is dragging me from the bar
CW: haha, what u do? :)
MC: Um shes taking me home?
CW: Thats no fun
MC: Um I cant drive
CW: Understandable, but if u could... :)
MC: Well i mean i legally shouldnt drive...
CW: *some kind of evil devil smiley face*
CW: I can drive just nowhere 2 go, just chilln after the keg
MC: ...?
CW: And that was me grinning evily 4 u driving "legally"
MC: being facetious (the best part is the word "facetious" is in my search bar for webster.com on my browser)
CW: 4 being drunk u use big wrds... :)
MC: I mean...sorry for having for having a large vocab...english teacher...
CW: Its coo u can use words with more than 2 sylables in a sentence and b cute
MC: I would hope so considering that means im not an idiot
3:05 am
Ms. Cynic: Still up?
Co-worker: Always
MC: haha Allison is dragging me from the bar
CW: haha, what u do? :)
MC: Um shes taking me home?
CW: Thats no fun
MC: Um I cant drive
CW: Understandable, but if u could... :)
MC: Well i mean i legally shouldnt drive...
CW: *some kind of evil devil smiley face*
CW: I can drive just nowhere 2 go, just chilln after the keg
MC: ...?
CW: And that was me grinning evily 4 u driving "legally"
MC: being facetious (the best part is the word "facetious" is in my search bar for webster.com on my browser)
CW: 4 being drunk u use big wrds... :)
MC: I mean...sorry for having for having a large vocab...english teacher...
CW: Its coo u can use words with more than 2 sylables in a sentence and b cute
MC: I would hope so considering that means im not an idiot
Monday, May 5, 2008
Math was never my strong point.
+ The grade that I was worried about actually does count, so I will actually be graduating---my degree will be processed on Wednesday...yesss!!
+ For graduation, my mom is taking me to the Dominican Republic in July.
+ Today I applied for my first passport. I feel so worldly and sophisticated.
- My friend thinks she's pregnant.
+ It's Cinco de Mayo, and I of course will be partaking in celebration.
- He told me all he can be is my friend.
- One of my room mates is moving out right now (not, because of anything bad...she graduated is going home....it's just still sad).
+ I am wearing the cutest shirt right now.
+ I am listening to my newly made "100% Non-Hispanic Music Cinco de Mayo" Mix.
- I have to start applying for teaching jobs this week....blahhhh.
- I still haven't heard from the one school I have applied to...I realllllly want the job.
+ NO MORE HOMEWORK!
+ I can do whatever I want now, because I don't have to feel guilty for doing it instead of schoolwork.
- I am still behind on my rent.
+ Did I mention Coronas and margs??
+ For graduation, my mom is taking me to the Dominican Republic in July.
+ Today I applied for my first passport. I feel so worldly and sophisticated.
- My friend thinks she's pregnant.
+ It's Cinco de Mayo, and I of course will be partaking in celebration.
- He told me all he can be is my friend.
- One of my room mates is moving out right now (not, because of anything bad...she graduated is going home....it's just still sad).
+ I am wearing the cutest shirt right now.
+ I am listening to my newly made "100% Non-Hispanic Music Cinco de Mayo" Mix.
- I have to start applying for teaching jobs this week....blahhhh.
- I still haven't heard from the one school I have applied to...I realllllly want the job.
+ NO MORE HOMEWORK!
+ I can do whatever I want now, because I don't have to feel guilty for doing it instead of schoolwork.
- I am still behind on my rent.
+ Did I mention Coronas and margs??
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Friday, May 2, 2008
HERstory
You met him freshman year of high school. He had gone to one of the other middle schools in the township. He was the skinny, awkward kid who wore ugly red basketball shoes. None of your friends thought he was cute.
He made you laugh.
He walked you across the school from gym to band everyday. You finally realized you had a huge crush on him.
He "asked you out" in late February. You started "dating." You never actually went on dates. You were 14 with strict parents. You were together for a month before you had your first kiss (your first ever). It was at the NBA fieldhouse during the high school state championship game. It was kind of awkward.
Spring Break came, and he left one week early to go on a trip to China. You missed him terribly. Your "reunion" was awkward. No more kisses since the first one. You got bored and broke up with in early May.
Sophomore year of high school. He sees you at school and emails you asking if you'd ever think about getting back together. You say no. You go to a football game and are allegedly a huge bitch to him. He emails you back saying he wouldn't want to get back together anyway, because you've "changed."
May of Sophomore year you start dating someone else. You find yourself talking to him about your current relationship all the time, and for some reason, it's not weird to you. You break up with your boyfriend November of Junior year. Then you start hanging out with him again. You enjoy his company, but you kiss one day...and it's terrible. You are turned off and tell him it's not going to work again. He starts dating someone else.
March of Junior year you meet who think is a great guy at work. He goes to a different high school in the area. You typically only see him weekends and at work. His girlfriend goes to your high school. You get a bit jealous seeing the two of them together when you see your own boyfriend so sparingly. Or maybe that's not what you're really jealous about?
You take your boyfriend to prom. You see him and his girlfriend. They are dancing; they are cute together. You get jealous. Your relationship with your boyfriend is slowly falling apart while theirs seems to be blossoming.
Summer before Senior year of high school. You take summer school. So does he. You don't have the same class, but you talk during every break, and as the days progress, you start hanging out in the parking lot after school, then you hang out in the library, then you start getting lunch together. You find yourself looking forward to whenever you can hang out with him.
Meanwhile, you can tell his girlfriend is starting resent you, and you almost never see your boyfriend. You tell him that you're thinking about breaking up with your boyfriend, and he says that he doesn't treat you right and that you should. He says that his girlfriend is boring and they have nothing in common and doesn't want to be with her anymore.
Finally, one night you have to go to work just to talk to your boyfriend. You manage to get him to take a break to go out to your car and talk to you. He talks first. And breaks up with you. You're pissed that he has turned it around on you, but whatever. You're free. The first thing you do is call him and tell him. He says he's decided to break up with his girlfriend.
They break up. Now what do you do? You tell him that you feel bad, because to everyone else it's going to seem as though he broke up with her just because of you. He says don't worry, because we both know that's not the case. (Believe it or not, at this point the two of you haven't even discussed getting back together....you were just helping each other through break ups and hanging out)
You start hanging out more and more. Even to the point of going to his house late after work. One day, for some reason, you tell him your idea of the perfect kiss. That you're with someone you have a good time with, and you're just sitting there talking. Then you start laughing together, maybe the person starts tickling you or something. Then you stop laughing, and look at each other, and have the most breath-taking kiss of your life. You go home.
You hang out again one night, watching a movie. Your perfect kiss happens, down to the last detail. You start dating again.
You're inseparable. Everyone "knew this would happen." You don't care; you're blissfully happy. You experience everything with him: you say the three magic words, you both get into the same college, you go to prom, you graduate high school, you lose your virginities to each other. College rolls around, and everything seems like it will be perfect.
Until you feel like you've lost your identity. You're no longer You; you're His Girlfriend. You only hang out with his friends, because you never got around to making your own. You start to feel restless, like there's something else out there, like you need to experience college on your own; maybe experience other guys. You subconsciously start to distance yourself from him, and he notices.
You break his heart. You break your own.
Throughout sophomore year, you hang out occasionally, randomly hooking up. You have your share of hook ups with other guys as well, but you never actually date anyone else. You start wondering what all the hype is about. As awful as it is, you know you can always count on him to be around. You probably start taking advantage of that.
October of Junior year of college, you get drunk and go to a party where he is. You pull him aside and sit him on the basement steps and pour your heart out to him. You confess your love to him, that you'd never stopped loving him and want him back. He rejects you. You don't talk for a month.
You eventually see him out again, and you're both drunk. You go home with him. The next morning, he starts trying to kiss you, but you're sober and don't want to get hurt. You have an argument, and you leave. A couple weeks later, he instant messages you, seeing if he should talk to you. You tell how much he hurt you for rejecting you and then sleeping with you and then messing with your feelings by trying to kiss you. He says he's sorry for "rejecting" you, that he was drunk and it came so suddenly and he didn't have time to think. He says he kept trying to kiss you, because he needed to see if you still had a spark.
You eventually start talking again, slowly seeing more of each other. He plays the "boyfriend" and agrees to be your DD on your 21st birthday. He takes care of you when you get home and are puking all over the place and telling him not to "fucking touch you." He holds you in his arms and strokes your hair as you drunkenly cry yourself to sleep (for no reason, of course).
Then. He has a huge family issue. He is devastated. He calls you first. You go to him, help him through it. The two of you decide that you've pretty much already gotten back together. The school year ends, and his lease is up so he has to go home for the summer. You are staying the summer in your college town. It's a difficult long distance relationship; you find that you're too immature to handle it, even though you're only an hour away. You get a new job. Even though you're happy with him, you start meeting new guys at work and get curious.
You break up with him. Again.
Again, sporadicly littered with a few random hookups. None of them mean anything to you. In fact, sometimes you find yourself with another guy and thinking to yourself, "You're not him." Spring Break found you hooking up with one of your friend's friends. He was flirty with you for a month or so. Then you went up to Purdue, and he was a complete asshole. He called you that night out of the blue, and you were so happy.
You keep thinking about him. You keep thinking about the future and about how you want him in yours. You find out that he will be staying in your college town for grad school, and if you get the job you want, you will too. It just seems too perfect. But you don't think he'll give you another chance.
Last night, you met up at a bar. You both got drunk. He came home with you.
Then he freaked out about how he "told himself not to do this again," saying it was a "mistake," but you could still tell there's something there. You cried yourself to sleep.
What do you do?
He made you laugh.
He walked you across the school from gym to band everyday. You finally realized you had a huge crush on him.
He "asked you out" in late February. You started "dating." You never actually went on dates. You were 14 with strict parents. You were together for a month before you had your first kiss (your first ever). It was at the NBA fieldhouse during the high school state championship game. It was kind of awkward.
Spring Break came, and he left one week early to go on a trip to China. You missed him terribly. Your "reunion" was awkward. No more kisses since the first one. You got bored and broke up with in early May.
Sophomore year of high school. He sees you at school and emails you asking if you'd ever think about getting back together. You say no. You go to a football game and are allegedly a huge bitch to him. He emails you back saying he wouldn't want to get back together anyway, because you've "changed."
May of Sophomore year you start dating someone else. You find yourself talking to him about your current relationship all the time, and for some reason, it's not weird to you. You break up with your boyfriend November of Junior year. Then you start hanging out with him again. You enjoy his company, but you kiss one day...and it's terrible. You are turned off and tell him it's not going to work again. He starts dating someone else.
March of Junior year you meet who think is a great guy at work. He goes to a different high school in the area. You typically only see him weekends and at work. His girlfriend goes to your high school. You get a bit jealous seeing the two of them together when you see your own boyfriend so sparingly. Or maybe that's not what you're really jealous about?
You take your boyfriend to prom. You see him and his girlfriend. They are dancing; they are cute together. You get jealous. Your relationship with your boyfriend is slowly falling apart while theirs seems to be blossoming.
Summer before Senior year of high school. You take summer school. So does he. You don't have the same class, but you talk during every break, and as the days progress, you start hanging out in the parking lot after school, then you hang out in the library, then you start getting lunch together. You find yourself looking forward to whenever you can hang out with him.
Meanwhile, you can tell his girlfriend is starting resent you, and you almost never see your boyfriend. You tell him that you're thinking about breaking up with your boyfriend, and he says that he doesn't treat you right and that you should. He says that his girlfriend is boring and they have nothing in common and doesn't want to be with her anymore.
Finally, one night you have to go to work just to talk to your boyfriend. You manage to get him to take a break to go out to your car and talk to you. He talks first. And breaks up with you. You're pissed that he has turned it around on you, but whatever. You're free. The first thing you do is call him and tell him. He says he's decided to break up with his girlfriend.
They break up. Now what do you do? You tell him that you feel bad, because to everyone else it's going to seem as though he broke up with her just because of you. He says don't worry, because we both know that's not the case. (Believe it or not, at this point the two of you haven't even discussed getting back together....you were just helping each other through break ups and hanging out)
You start hanging out more and more. Even to the point of going to his house late after work. One day, for some reason, you tell him your idea of the perfect kiss. That you're with someone you have a good time with, and you're just sitting there talking. Then you start laughing together, maybe the person starts tickling you or something. Then you stop laughing, and look at each other, and have the most breath-taking kiss of your life. You go home.
You hang out again one night, watching a movie. Your perfect kiss happens, down to the last detail. You start dating again.
You're inseparable. Everyone "knew this would happen." You don't care; you're blissfully happy. You experience everything with him: you say the three magic words, you both get into the same college, you go to prom, you graduate high school, you lose your virginities to each other. College rolls around, and everything seems like it will be perfect.
Until you feel like you've lost your identity. You're no longer You; you're His Girlfriend. You only hang out with his friends, because you never got around to making your own. You start to feel restless, like there's something else out there, like you need to experience college on your own; maybe experience other guys. You subconsciously start to distance yourself from him, and he notices.
You break his heart. You break your own.
Throughout sophomore year, you hang out occasionally, randomly hooking up. You have your share of hook ups with other guys as well, but you never actually date anyone else. You start wondering what all the hype is about. As awful as it is, you know you can always count on him to be around. You probably start taking advantage of that.
October of Junior year of college, you get drunk and go to a party where he is. You pull him aside and sit him on the basement steps and pour your heart out to him. You confess your love to him, that you'd never stopped loving him and want him back. He rejects you. You don't talk for a month.
You eventually see him out again, and you're both drunk. You go home with him. The next morning, he starts trying to kiss you, but you're sober and don't want to get hurt. You have an argument, and you leave. A couple weeks later, he instant messages you, seeing if he should talk to you. You tell how much he hurt you for rejecting you and then sleeping with you and then messing with your feelings by trying to kiss you. He says he's sorry for "rejecting" you, that he was drunk and it came so suddenly and he didn't have time to think. He says he kept trying to kiss you, because he needed to see if you still had a spark.
You eventually start talking again, slowly seeing more of each other. He plays the "boyfriend" and agrees to be your DD on your 21st birthday. He takes care of you when you get home and are puking all over the place and telling him not to "fucking touch you." He holds you in his arms and strokes your hair as you drunkenly cry yourself to sleep (for no reason, of course).
Then. He has a huge family issue. He is devastated. He calls you first. You go to him, help him through it. The two of you decide that you've pretty much already gotten back together. The school year ends, and his lease is up so he has to go home for the summer. You are staying the summer in your college town. It's a difficult long distance relationship; you find that you're too immature to handle it, even though you're only an hour away. You get a new job. Even though you're happy with him, you start meeting new guys at work and get curious.
You break up with him. Again.
Again, sporadicly littered with a few random hookups. None of them mean anything to you. In fact, sometimes you find yourself with another guy and thinking to yourself, "You're not him." Spring Break found you hooking up with one of your friend's friends. He was flirty with you for a month or so. Then you went up to Purdue, and he was a complete asshole. He called you that night out of the blue, and you were so happy.
You keep thinking about him. You keep thinking about the future and about how you want him in yours. You find out that he will be staying in your college town for grad school, and if you get the job you want, you will too. It just seems too perfect. But you don't think he'll give you another chance.
Last night, you met up at a bar. You both got drunk. He came home with you.
Then he freaked out about how he "told himself not to do this again," saying it was a "mistake," but you could still tell there's something there. You cried yourself to sleep.
What do you do?
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