Awkward Guy Night

So last night was the first time I've really gone OUT out in about 2 weeks. Needless to say, my tolerance was a little low. I had a few VERY awkward encounters with males:



GUY #1: Former co-worker--we will call him Pete
A little note about Pete...he was kind of "that guy" at work...the guy who always invited himself to parties and was weird and awkward and nobody really wanted him around. His ex-girlfriend "Lauren" is now dating a guy that works at my job, "Allen."

Pete: Hey, Ms. C, how's it going?
Me: Uh, hey, Pete, good...how are you?
Pete: Oh you know, good good...I work SomePlace now...it's good.
Me: That is good.
Pete: Yeah, I mean, I never hang out w/ anyone from YourRestaurant anymore...you know, kinda sucks. I miss you guys. (I am thinking: Oh God, are we really going to do THIS?) And I mean, I know Lauren is dating Allen, but I mean, whatever. I just want her to be happy. (I am thinking: YOU ARE SUCH A BUZZKILL!!) But yeah, I am gonna go smoke a cigarette. I'll be right back.

*comes back*

Pete: Yeah, I really hope that Lauren and Allen don't come here...I'd be a little mad. Well, there's my friends; gotta go. But hey, Ms. C, I just wanted to tell you...I have always thought you are so beautiful, and I couldn't really say anything before coz I had a girlfriend, but you are so beautiful, and I just wanted to tell you that you should never set your standards low.


Guy(s) #2: Random Bar Guy(s)
So my friend bought us a shot, and this guy with long blonde hair and a fedora comes up to us and says, "Hey, you should come sit with my friend and me....we are bored." So we do.

Fedora: This is my friend. Do you want another shot?
Friend: (pulls out a deck of cards and proceeds to do card tricks)
Me: I guess that is cool, but I am drunk, not 5.
Card: Ouch, sorry.
Me: What is your last name?
Card: You'll have to come back here tomorrow night and find me.
(Fedora comes back, I take the shot, and we leave.)



Guy #3: A Blast from the Past...we'll call him "Jared"
So this is a guy I don't know too well. I had a party last year, and he came with some people I know. HE WAS SO ANNOYING. He is one of those guys who will talk your ear off (kind of like Pete)...to him this is considered flirting....to you, you just want to hang yourself; however, with him, if you don't flirt back then he just considers you a bitch and gets mad. I hadn't seen him in a LONG time.

Jared: Hey, haven't seen you in awhile.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Jared: How have you been?
Me: Good. You?
Jared: Good...man, last time I saw you, you were so mean to me.
Me: No, I wasn't.
(The conversation continues with him telling me how mean I am and me trying to fight the urge to tell him exactly what I think of him.)

So I wake up this morning, and I have a Facebook message from him with the following:

i had to give u a hard time tonite cuz u alway give me one! well anyways under one condition i want u give me your number and thats if u think im cute!

I barely understand what he was trying to say.

Oh man, my life is just full of awkwardness.....and I love it.